Just for the fun of it...

I was checking out the groups on Facebook today when I noticed one in particular that aroused my curiosity: I Secretly Want To Punch Slow Moving People In The Back Of The Head. I checked it out and realised it wasn't for me. 

In fact, I'm more likely to be the person these members want to punch in the back on the head, as I gingerly place one foot in front of the other in a mindful execution of precision that honours the quest to live in the moment. 

Okay, mostly it's not like that.

But I did do a meditation walk... once. The objective was to be present with every movement your body made as you took a step. It took me an hour to walk one metre. I might try it again one day to really piss these people off. There may be over 1,000,000 members, but they only want to secretly do it, so I think I'm safe.

Who loves the groups on Facebook? I do. Like this one: I Don't Care How Comfortable Crocs Are, You Look Like a Dumbass. I didn't join this group either in respect to the pair I got years ago when they first came out. They arrived in the office of the magazine I worked on back then. It took us a while to determine exactly what they were. Weird! Big! Ugly! A colleague suggested I try them on. 

Oh, yes, and comfy. 

I don't think I took them off for the next six months. I wore them everywhere, and then I started to notice that everyone else had a pair, too. Cheap replicas started to pop up all over the place. Then the accessories arrived to pretty 'em up a bit. People made millions. Streets around the world became a rainbow of colour.

By then, I was over the phenomenon. In summer, they would make my feet swelter and squeak. I finally got myself a full-length mirror and, crickey!, it hit home. Why would I want to get around in a pair of shoes that go with nothing and make my feet look like they belong in a Mickey Mouse cartoon?

I'll keep 'em though. For when I move to a country cottage by the river; they make great river shoes.   

Another that took my interest was I FLIP MY PILLOW OVER TO GET TO THE COLD SIDE. Wow! I didn't even know that people did this. And lots of people do, it seems. Over 700,000. I sleep with a foot on a cold wall in summer. Is it the same thing? 

I'm always amazed at the strange things people do, or admit they do. Like the group who love to look at themselves in mirrors and pictures (ie. photos, not picture frames, which is the meaning I first took). I don't often like to see myself in photos or mirrors – shit! do I really look like that? – but I'm always curious to see what I look like in shop windows. The image reflected seems so much more gentle and mysterious. Though, it's probably a good idea that I start to look in mirrors more often. Then I wouldn't have to hear others point out to me that my nostril hairs seem a bit long or that I have bits of food – usually burnt toast – stuck in my teeth.     

A group I did join was No, I Don't Care If I Die At 12AM, I Refuse To Pass On Your Chain Letter. Then, what do I do after I join the group? I send off a chain letter. Shit! What can I say? I was got in a moment of vulnerability. The letter promised riches, fame and undying love forever after... well, not really. But it did promise that my wish would come true in eight minutes if I sent it on. Well, those eight minutes are up and I'm still WAITING! But you knew that would happen, didn't you?

Unlike myself, you don't fall for crap like that... unlike myself, you wouldn't let a moment of vulnerability cloud your senses... unlike myself, you probably don't waste precious time checkin' out groups on Facebook.