[I wrote the following blog for a blogging job I applied for on a parenting website. I didn't get the job, which was a bloody shame because I would've loved to have written a weekly blog post about my number one occupation, parenting. Never have I known such joy, never have I experienced such prolonged sleep deprivation.]
"Can you please put your plate in the kitchen?" I asked him today.
"Why do I have to do everything around here?" he replied.
Huh! Where'd he pick that up from? My first instinct is to rummage through my mind to see if that's the sort of thing I'd say. It could well be.
On particularly stressful days, when the alarm of my 20-month-old daughter shrills at 5.30am – "Mum, Mum, Mum..." – I look down the tunnel of the day and already feel exhausted. I know I won't get a real break until they are in bed that evening.
It'll be one chore after the next until day's end: feed the kids, do the dishes, put the wash on, pay the bills, feed the kids, check in on what needs to be done on the work front, hang out the wash, feed the kids, take the kids to the park, buy something for dinner, feed the kids, take the wash in, do the dishes, answer phone calls for work, feed the kids, do the dishes, bath the kids, read books to the kids, put the kids to bed, respond to emails. Phew! It's 9.30pm and I still haven't had a full cup of tea.
Yep, on days like that, you could very well hear me scream, "Why do I have to do everything around here?"
Then, again, maybe it's not me who's planted these ideas into my son's head, but the shows he watches on TV. I figure they're just cartoons, innocent enough, but when I saw a PG advertisement on one of the Foxtel cartoon channels he watches the other day – parental guidance recommended for children under 15 – I started to question my reliance on TV as a babysitter.
Not that I rely on it too much, I don't think. I try to limit it to two hours a day. But I have to be honest. On some days that two hours can become three as I work to fit in one more chore, one more thing to be done, or even a little 'me' time.
However, it's often after he's watched TV that I notice a shift in attitude. He's no longer my delightful and curious four-year-old son with an incredible imagination, who likes to tell his mother the way life is.
As soon as I turn off the TV he becomes whiny, moody, cheeky and annoying.
"I was watching that!" he cries as I unceremoniously turn off the TV and shut it behind closed doors.
"I don't care, you've watched enough today," I reply.
"I haven't watched hardly any shows," he moans.
"You've just watched two hours of TV. That's enough."
"It's NOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!"
After the initial outburst, it's usually another hour of whiny behaviour before he finally awakens to life and finds interest in other things, like a room full of toys!, and I see that curious four-year-old imagination take him to unexplored places once again.
TV has certainly become a tool I've used to keep my son entertained while I get on with things that need to be done, or to simple get an hour or two of 'me' time, but I'd like to think there's other things my son can do to entertain himself. I know there's the whole outside world to explore, but we live in a small flat, so that's not an option, unless I'm with him.
I think it's important that children learn to be with themselves without the stimulus of TV or computer games, or having to be constantly entertained by Mum and Dad, but I wonder what are the best ways to encourage this?
I have since found out! For the past two weeks, I've only let my son watch cartoons on Saturday mornings. After breakfast, instead of lying back zonked out in front of the TV, my son has headed to his room and discovered his toys. He's found Lego, Mr Potato Head and friends, a collection of cars and trucks, Thomas the Tank Engine train set, sticker books, even his stuffed toys have featured in elaborate plays.
The bonus? My 21-month-old daughter doesn't like TV and when it's on and big brother is distracted, she insists I sit down and read her every single nursery rhyme book in the house – five times over! However, when big brother plays, she loves to play with him, and I can happily get on with the things that need to be done... like reading the morning paper.
5 comments:
Very honest Rachel, I like that. You have got to the heart of what is wrong with the majority of parents nowadays....the reliance of tele as a babysitter/entertainment system. I have long been against using that as an excuse...."Just watch tv and give me a break". I would rather leave dishes in the sink for the night, if it meant playing games etc with my boy. He is nearly 13 now and I am not sure how much quality time we have left before he becomes a "teen".
Great blog, I enjoyed it immensely!!
It sure is a hectic schedule you have there... may that be why this week's blog is still not posted on Monday?? Lol. Am dying to read your love blog. x
Glad you enjoyed, Paul. My thoughts exactly: best to try and spend as much time with your kids when they're young – and want to hang out with you!
I also reckon if you put the time in when they're young, they'll actually still want to hang out with you when they're older (just perhaps not so much!). But if you don't put the time in now (and it's hardly a chore!), then you can forget about trying to establish a good relationship later when they are teenagers!
Celeste, love blog is now up! I didn't post it last night, cos I had no idea how it was gonna end! Morgs was unwell, so I was understandably distracted...I was giving my love rather than writing about it. :O)
It's like you were writing about Ben! Good lord...
Yes, TV is all too convenient for me when i have uni assignments, but I try to limit it. It's especially hard because aside from me and a couple of other people, it's one of Ben's only connections to English (I mean to listen to native English, not reading and writing!), so it kind of plays another role here, but still!
And then on Saturday mornings, when he wakes up and asks "Mummy, can I watch cartoons?" I remember what it felt like, to be a kid, have the weekend stretched out before you, and start it all with an early morning cartoon session! Thunderbirds are GO!
BUT the difference is, when we were kids, cartoons were only on a for a short time, then they were over and you went outside and played. Now there's cable TV with 4 cartoon channels going 24 hours a day. No wonder it's harder to get them away from the box!
Great blog Rach!!
I love this description of being a mother Rachel! It certainly brings back memories, though I think you're a more conscientious mum than I was. I seem to remember early days in Kalgoorlie, when the girls were around 3 & 6, when life wasn't too hard, with friends to visit and their children and mine to keep each other occupied. Maybe that was the advantage of living in a country town, and at a quieter time. TV was very handily there (I could never forget Sesame Street & its impact), but I don't remember it being an issue, at least not until later.
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